Watching You Go
by Ayotechnology
Summary: Thinking that his lover never cared for him anymore, Hiroki gets depressed. He runs away after witnessing something happened between his lover and Tsumori at the hospital. What will Nowaki do now? Nowaki X Hiroki
1. Chapter 1: Running Away

Summary: Thinking that his lover never cared for him anymore, Hiroki gets depressed. He runs away after witnessing something happened between his lover and Tsumori at the hospital. What will Nowaki do now that his lover has run away on the night that he was planning to propose?

Author's note: I've been meaning to put this up for the past few weeks but only got to finish the first chapter today despite having more important things to do.

Warning: Yaoi (boy x boy relationship). Please leave if you are in doubt of your openness to same sex love relationship.

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica

Chapter 1: Running Away

"Tadaima," greeted a very exhausted Hiroki to no one in particular.

"No surprise there," thought Hiroki. It's always been like this for the past few months ever since Nowaki got promoted as one of the main physicians and not as a trainee anymore. At first, Hiroki was more than happy to know that his lover is finally getting recognition for all the hard work he's been doing at the hospital. But his enthusiasm about the topic changed a few weeks ago.

Flashback

It was their anniversary and Hiroki was waiting for his tall lover to ask him out for dinner. It was a happy day for Hiroki, for the first time, his classes were conducted without a single student being sent out or getting hit by a book. He even accepted the lame excuses and apologies of his students for failing to read Tom Sawyer. During lunch time in his office, he wasn't the least bothered at seeing his boss making out with the brat from T University. Yup, Hiroki was definitely trying to make this day the happiest ever.

"Uhm, kyouju," ignoring the unbutton shirt of his boss, "did somebody look for me today?" Deep down, he was getting anxious. Knowing Nowaki, that brat of his should have informed him a week before their anniversary if he was planning on going out. _Maybe he's just busy or he's planning a surprise for me_. He even kept his cell phone on just in case his lover decided to call him. Seeing no Nowaki in his message inbox, Hiroki decided to ask his kyouju if Nowaki called for him while he was in class.

"I don't know, Kamijou, I was here only an hour ago. Dunno, if somebody looked for you."

"Old man, looked at me, I'm suppose to be your center of attraction not HIM," placing as much disgust on the word "HIM", Shinobu, being the genius that he is, will never be able to understand how can two people namely his lover and this Kamijou could work professionally in a private room without the temptation of getting into each other's pants.

Hiroki sighed. He knew better than to argue with the chairman's son. He hated the fact that he had to treat this brat as his boss but at least, the chairman is not half as bad as this brat.

"Kyouju, please be reminded that the superintendent is roaming around the school today and if I'm not mistaken, I believe that he would be here in the literature department in 5 minutes."

With this, Hiroki thought it best to leave the both of them. He stole a glance and found it amusing to see the two of them scrambling for their clothing. _Hmm, if I'm an evil man, I wouldn't have warned them and Miyagi will be expelled thus making me the head professor here but of course, I wouldn't do that, I owe Miyagi too much. And as much as I hate to admit it, he and the brat look good together. _

Hiroki went back to his cubicle and started doing his work on his laptop, momentarily forgetting his insecurities about his lover.

"Kamijou, it's already half past six, I think we should call it a day and pack up."

"Oh, kyouju, you could go ahead, I have to finish this before I go home," _I have to finish all of my work so once Nowaki comes home and hopefully, ask me out, we would be able to spend the whole evening together._

"Hiroki, is something the matter?"

"Uhm, nothing, just stress out from today's class."_ I better stop overreacting. Oh shoot, kyouju's not letting me off the hook that easily, Ah I know. "_Say, I think you should better head off without me, shouldn't you be fetching your brat from T University an hour ago?"

"OH SHOOT, NOW I'M GONNA GET IT."

Hiroki sighed and returned to his work. _At least I have something to do to get my mind out of this stupid anniversary._

An hour later......

"Yawwwwwn" _Guess I better head home now. Sigh, is he ever gonna call me? Surprise me at home? Wait for me outside with a bouquet of flowers and kiss me? Apologize to me?_

The assistant professor packed his stuff, shut down the lights and went on his way. He passed by convenience store, not wanting to go home yet since he was afraid that he will find their apartment deserted. He lingered for two hours before finally deciding that he has to head home and face reality no matter how much it aches him.

"Tadaima," he said after opening the door. Seeing the inside empty, Hiroki sighed in defeat. Well, guess he's not going home for the day. _Kuso, what's more important his job or our anniversary! Is he that much needed at the hospital? What about me? I needed him too! No, no, no Hiroki, Nowaki's not the insensitive type of lover. He will do anything for you. Maybe he is working his ass off just to give you a big surprise, a really big one._ With the last thought in mind, Hiroki felt better and refreshed, he immediately went to the bathroom to shower and groom himself to the best of his abilities. _Sheesh, I am like a teenager going on a first date._

10 00 pm......

_Guess, I have to wait a little longer._ Turning on the television, he waited at the dining table staring blankly at the screen before him.

"If he really loves you, then why is not here with you?'

That was the time when Hiroki started paying attention to the drama being played in front of him. It turns out it is about a poor girl waiting for her beloved to come and see her again like he promised.

"You are really something else, you were a strong girl before that wretched man entered your life!"

"But auntie, I can't stop thinking about him, what if someone killed him, what if he's just busy and can't afford to see me."

Hiroki was now listening intently at the drama unfolding before him. His concentration increased tenfold as he waited for the aunt's reply.

"My beloved niece, I have raised and loved you since you were a little girl and I would protect you from all the pain in this world. I have something to confess to you, my little princess. Your beloved is now engaged with his fiancé of six years. He came here to tell you but I stopped him knowing that you will break down. Please forgive me for not telling you this, I just want the best for you."

Tears were now welling in Hiroki's eyes. Not only was he feeling sorry for the girl and the aunt but also because he couldn't stop thinking that maybe his Nowaki is no longer his. That he is now with someone else, someone with power, someone who could help him with his goals and dreams in life. Nowaki is young and everyone likes him as contrast with Hiroki. _This is not happening to me. Calm down, you are an adult for Pete's sake. Didn't Nowaki promised to love you forever? The reason why he is working night and day is for you to be proud of him._

All these thoughts and emotions are draining his energy. He stared up at the ceiling, not even bothering to turn off the television.

_He forgot, didn't he? _He no longer have the strength to keep his eyes open. For the first time, he fell asleep on the chair with no one to hold him throughout the night.

It was the most memorable anniversary Hiroki ever had.

End of Flashback

By this time, Hiroki was used to his lover's indifference. He tried his best not to let it get to him. Nowaki would go home at around one in the morning and never bothered to visit his Hirosan in the other room. When the brunette wakes up, Nowaki is still sleeping soundly with his door locked as if not wanting to be disturbed not even by his lover. When Hiroki goes home from work, Nowaki already left for the hospital not leaving a note whatsoever. It's as if they dissolved from lovers into complete strangers.

Hiroki started preparing dinner. He reprimands himself for always making a meal enough for two people. It became his routine for the past several years to cook not only for himself but also for Nowaki. As he was chopping the carrots, Miyagi's suggestion from this morning kept on replaying inside his head. _You know what Kamijou, whenever you are depressed, I know it's not about work; it has got to do something with your love life. You know Kamijou, I advise you to go to him and confront him for whatever is getting in the way of your relationship. For once, set aside your pride and not let him do all the work. He is just a human being after all, and sometimes, he needs evidence of your love for him._

Hmm, maybe kyouju's right, maybe I should go and visit him at the hospital now. After spending half an hour contemplating and debating with himself, he finally decided to pay his lover a visit at the hospital. Why not? _He is my lover after all and I have every right to demand him an explanation for his nonchalance the past few months._

_Sheesh, Hiroki, no need to dress up too much. You are just going to the hospital after all, not on some date. _He then changed his attire to a plane white polo shirt and a pair of jeans that highlighted his butt. _Just the way Nowaki wants it._

With a surge of adrenaline, he took his car keys and drove off as fast as he could to the hospital hoping that this night would clear things up. Unbeknownst to him, things would not go his way tonight. Life is just too cruel and bad things do happen to good people.

Hiroki parked his car near the entrance and ran towards the elevator, knowing for sure which pediatric section his lover is working. _Okay, keep it simple, don't disturb him too much. Ask him nicely without sounding too desperate for an answer._

As he reached the 7th floor, he went straight towards his lover's work room which he knew by now, would be surrounded by kids with certain kinds of illnesses. He smiled at knowing that his lover is working hard to make children happy by keeping them company and making sure that they enjoy their stay at the hospital. _I'm finally here._

"Nowaki, I've known you for quite some time now."

Hiroki stop dead in his tracks for he knew that voice and it belong to none other than Tsumori. Tsumori who is Nowaki's sempai and the only one who flirts blatantly with his lover and worst, he does it in front of him.

"My love grows for you each day and I can't bare the thought of losing you."

Hiroki was now shaking in anger and his grip on the door became deadly.

"I can't live without you and after thinking about it, I decided that I would spent the rest of my life with you, so, Nowaki, would you marry me?"

The brunette has to use up all of his will not to barge in and snatch his lover away. Never mind the formalities as long as he could get his Nowaki away from this psycho. But he was numbed by the next words his lover uttered. Those two words would haunt him forever. He felt a shiver ran down his entire body as if he had been submerged into an ocean of ice. He could sense his heart being stabbed by a knife then slowly shredding it into several pieces.

Hiroki ran towards his car, wanting to get away from here as soon as possible. The words "I do", two words of betrayal still resounding in his head. He stepped on the gas the moment he started the engine and drove as fast as he could towards their apartment. _Nowaki, you bastard, I trusted you, how could you? I have to get away from this place before I lose my sanity. This is a nightmare. Hmmph, like they say, all good things come to an end._

Once he reached his house, he scurried off to his room, stuffing all of his stuff into his luggage and selecting only a few books to bring with him, Hiroki went out of the apartment, leaving everything behind; everything that has his recent ex-lover's mark. Everything they shared, the memories, the laughter, the love, he is leaving it all behind. He just hoped that he wouldn't bump into Nowaki on his way out. There is no stopping him now. _I have to do this. _He went straight to the train station and bought a ticket that would take him far away from Kyoto.

At the hospital....

Nowaki was staring lovingly at a velvet box that contains a ring. Correction, a proposal ring to his beloved Hiroki. For the past few months, Nowaki was working as hard as he could just so he could buy most beautiful and exquisite ring for his long time lover. Finally, his hard work paid off and he was able to buy the ring just this morning. He is planning to propose tonight and even made a reservation at the finest Japanese restaurant in town.

_Hiro-san, I wonder, how would you take my proposal? Would you accept it or not? I hope you do so, because I won't take no for answer._

While working, Tsumori noticed his assistant's troubled expression. When Nowaki finally told him, Tsumori offered to teach him how to propose just so Nowaki would feel more confident in facing his lover.

"Oi, Nowaki, I think you better head home, I will dismiss you early for today just so you could prepare for the rest of the evening."

"Honto-nii, what about the kids?"

"Just leave them to me and hurry before I change my mind."

"Arigatou gozaimasu."

"And Nowaki, don't commit the mistake of saying my name instead of his when you propose," Tsumori said jokingly.

"Hhhhaiii" Nowaki, knowing that his sempai is just joking.

Nowaki secured the velvet box in his pocket and headed for home. He was just too excited and dashed to the apartment that he and his lover shared. He slowed down in his tracks when he noticed that the door to their apartment was left ajar. Panic flooded his senses; he silently opened the door and turned on the light, getting ready to strike down whoever dared to barge in their house.

Nowaki quickly checked on his lover in his room just to make sure he was okay for he knows that his lover goes home no later than eight o' clock. But he didn't find his lover inside the room. _Was he taken away? _Before resorting to a panic mode, Nowaki decided to investigate his lover's room. To his distress, he found the entire room devoid of any stuff. It's as if no one lives there anymore. He went for the bookshelf and saw that only the favorite books of his lover were gone.

_What's going on here? As much as I hate it, I better phone Akihiko and Miyagi._

He decided to call Akihiko first but no one's answering, so he dialed Miyagi's number.

"Moshi, moshi"

"Miyagi, this is Nowaki."

"Oh, what do you want, if it is about your lover, I have no business whatsoever."

"Miyagi, this is serious, have you seen Hiro-san?" He is beginning to panic, hoping that the man on the other line would give him an acceptable answer.

"What???? I don't know where Hiroki is, maybe he's out there moping somewhere else." Miyagi does not have an idea how right he is.

"Huh, demo, why would he be mopping around, is something the matter?"

"I don't know if you notice, but your lover is as depressed as hell for the past few months. Work wise, he's still doing well but I cannot say the same for his mood."

"Miyagi, is it because of me?" Nowaki heard a sigh coming out from the other line.

"Nowaki, do you want to meet up coz it's gonna be a long story."

A/N: Comments or suggestions? I would like to hear from you guys. Hope this chapter sparks your interest in reading more. I would pay close attention to all of the reviews. Homophobic reviews are gladly NOT entertained.


	2. Chapter 2: Lost Love and a Dark Future

Author's note: First and foremost, I would like to apologize to the reviewers from the first chapter. I know I said that I would update soon and that was like five to six weeks ago when I said that. I'm so sorry, especially to JunJouVampire. The past few weeks was mentally draining for me but that does not excuse me for not writing cute yaoi fanfics. Hehe……gomen ne minna, I'm so sorry ):

Warning: Yaoi (boy x boy relationship). Please leave if you are in doubt of your openness to same sex love relationship.

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica.

Chapter 2: Lost Love and a Dark Future

The train ride from Kyoto to Tokyo only lasted for four hours. But for a certain brunette, it only felt like minutes. He head was pre-occupied with the events of the last four hours. For the first time in his life, Hiroki did something out of his plan. He felt like a bratty kid running away from home, waiting to be found and cuddled by his parents. The only difference was that he does not want to be found and cuddled. He simply wanted to be left alone.

Hiroki was staring blankly at the scenery before him. Skyscrapers hover through the entire city and everything was shimmering from a distance like faraway stars promising a bright future. _Future? What kind of future is waiting for me out there? I just ran away from the place that encompassed my whole life. My childhood years, my first crush, my achievements and finally my dream job....everything I've worked for the past two decades all went to waste in just one night, one freaking night. Hmmph, guess life is not just that easy..._

After a while, the recorded announcement erupted throughout the whole train. "We are now reaching Shinjuku station, the last stop for the day. I, repeat, we are now arriving at Shinjuku station. Please make sure that you have all your belongings with you and exit to your left."

No matter how much Hiroki wanted to linger in the train, he knew that he must go down at Shinjuku unless he wanted to cause ruckus among the authorities. He love train rides ever since he was a little kid. He was fond of the peace granted to him by train rides wherein he could do some self-reflection without the danger of being disturbed.

Rrrring rrringgg.

Hiroki was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his cellphone ringing. He checked the screen to see who was calling although he already have an idea who it was.

Nowaki calling.......

Before he could stop himself, he flipped the phone open and placed it on his right ear. _Damn it, I can't even keep my emotions in check. _

"HIRO-SAN HIRO-SAN........WHERE ARE YOU?"

_How he missed that voice_

"HIRO-SAN? HIRO-SAN?!!!" Nowaki's voice was getting frantic.

_I can't tell you Nowaki. Please forgive me......._

"Onegai Hiro-san.......answer me."

He wanted so much to tell Nowaki where he is. To be found and cuddled.......he could hear the desperation of his lover's voice on the other line that for a second, he considered telling him.

"Hiro-san, was it something I did, TELL ME. Did I hurt you? Why aren't you answ"

Beeep beeep beeeep

Without further ado, Hiroki cut off his conversation with his lover...no no ex-lover. _How dare he? How could he have the guts to ask me if he did something wrong? Does he take me for a fool? That he's been cheating on me for the past few months. That he's been ignoring me. Hasn't it occurred to him yet that I feel like shit for the way he treats me???_

The brunette was seething mad from anger that he quickly turned his phone off after hearing it ring for the second time. He removed the sim card and threw it on the train tracks just to make sure no one gets it. I have to move on._ I have to fend for myself just like before he came to life. I will start now no matter what I feel. I have to forget him and start a new life in a different town and in a different place._

Nowaki was at loss as to what was happening. His beloved won't answer him and worst, he have no idea, not even a slight clue as to where his love went off to. He was simply staring at his phone which was still redialing his Hiro-san's number.

Rrrring rrrrring.

"Moshi, moshi"

"Oi brat......I am already here at the Family Restaurant as agreed. I've been waiting here for the past thirty minutes. I was wondering if we are still meeting or not?"

" Gomen ne, Miyagi. I will be there in a while."

" Eh? don't tell me you haven't left the house yet."

"Something came up and I...."

"Kid, let me guess, you were able to reach him, am I right? And judging from the tone of your voice, it didn't go well."

Blank.......

Miyagi sighed. "Okay then, take your time. I would understand it if you can't find the will to drag yourself here and risk boycotting our engagement for the night."

"NO,....I want to know....... I have to know......this is important. He is everything to me."

"Okay, kid....if that's what you want to know, then I suggest you better prepare yourself for what I have to share with you coz I have a very good idea as to why he just went off like that."

___________________________________________________________________________

Hiroki found an apartment somewhere near a commercial area in the city. The rent fee per month was not bad and the room given to him was big enough for one person. After settling down his belongings, he instantly flopped down on the bed to rest for the night. He still can't believe that he was sleeping in another house besides the one he shared with Nowaki. _This could all be just one big fat ugly dream and the next thing I know is that I am naked, lying face down on Nowaki's broad muscular chest and inhaling the his scent after a night of passionate love making._

Unfortunately, reality is far from being a dream.

His head felt dizzy and his vision was starting to get blurry and soon, he was fast asleep.

__________________________

WWWHAATTT? Professor, you can't be serious. Are you sure we are talking about the same Hirosan ???

"Oiii, don't insult my intelligence, I must be the stupidest person in the world if I confuse your so called Hiro san for somebody else. With the way you broadcast to the entire world about Kamijou being your lover, the chances of mistaking your lover for somebody else is a total zero." _And darn, the punch I got from you several years ago when I almost kissed your Hiro-san is a strong reminder of which Hiroki in the world is your lover._

"Ggggomen ne Miyagi, I just can't believe Hiro-san would think that way about me. I always thought that he would be open about his feelings for me but apparently, everyone could see him hurting besides me. How could I be so blind??"

Miyagi cringed inwardly at the dejected tone coming from the younger man across him and for once, felt pity for the boy. After all, he is just a kid acting tough for his beloved. Miyagi then smiled at the thought of Shinobu doing the same for him. _"_Well, what do you expect in the first place that Kamijou will see right through your display of ignorance, how is he suppose to know that you are planning to surprise him with an engagement ring?"

"Watashi....I just thought that......." Miyagi's right, he should have known better than ignore his lover of six years. "he would like it better if I give him more space coz I always hear him mumbling about how I have no pride in showing my affection for him."

"Brat, what part of ignorance don't you understand? What you did was not give him space but kill him inside, you made him feel that you got tired of him, you made him think that he is no longer desirable in your eyes," _Miyagi was starting to get annoyed. For Pete's sake, I never thought Hiroki's boyfriend could be so dense and not to mention dumb. Aren't doctors suppose to be smart? Isn't he the smart kid whom Kamijou was ranting about? Isn't he the one who was sent abroad to study for two years and managed to finish all the requirements for a year? With the way things are going, I'm starting to feel like explaining algebra to a kindergarten student._

Dead awkward silence.......

Kuso, geesh, not only is this boy dumb but also sensitive. "Look, the best thing you could do now is to look for him and apologize and explain yourself well. I will even help you if you want to, scratch that, I will look for him even if you don't permit me to do so. But remember, kiddo, do not lose ho...."

Miyagi was surprised to the very core. Not only is he here comforting the guy who punched and threatened him back then but to actually have the said guy hugged him was enough to make him think that he was talking to the wrong guy. _The hell , that didn't just happen._

"Arigatou, Miyagi-san. I must admit that I was little bit wary about your intentions a while ago when you invited me here but now I know I am mistaken. Gogomen, onegai, please help me find my Hiro-san or else......"

"Oi kido, gget off me before I do something drastic like punch you in the face or something. In case you haven't remembered, I still haven't had my retribution when you punched me square in the face several years ago and damn, I almost thought that my jawbone broke."

Nowaki blushed at the memory.

"By simply talking here all night and getting emotional, why don't we just call it a night and do our search tomorrow. Besides, I'm already ahem late for something important." _Shit, never thought this meeting would last for over two hours and I promised Shinobu that I would be home an hour ago. I wouldn't be surprised if that kid had already started a search operation on his own. But, I can't simply leave this guy alone not when he is like this. _

"DEMO, I HAVE TO START LOOKING FOR HIM, FOR ALL WE KNOW, HE MIGHT BE IN SOME DANGEROUS PLACE AND BEING CORNERED TO AN ALLEYWAY OR WORST, HE COULD HAVE FOUND SOMEBODY ELSE AND DECIDED TO STAY WITH THAT PERSON. MIYAGI-SAN, I WON'T FORGIVE MYSELF IF THAT HAPPENS!!!"

"HEY, you listen to me right now. Hiroki is in too much pain as of the moment and the fact that he left you proves just that. Do you honestly think that in just a spur of less than six hours, he could have totally forgotten about you and decided to run into another man's arms? What do you take him for?"

kRRRRING KRRRRRING......

"Shit, shit, double shit........., Oi kiddo, you owe me big time for this, my lover is now calling and I strongly doubt that he would wish me pleasantries when I get home."

"You have a lover????"

"Hey, don't underestimate me like that, ....Oi, Shinobu chin, ogenki desu, how are you?"

"Hehehehe, Shinobu chin, wwwhat, I am not cheating on you besides, eeeeh, oi Shinobu, don't you dare, Shinobukun, onegai, don't do that, WWWWHAATTTTT????"

beeeeep beeeeep beeeeeep.....

"Kuso, oiiii you seriously have to pay me back for this night and it better be something worth your life. Thanks to you, my lover won't have SEX with me for a month and worst, after the one month is over, he wants to be seme for a lifetime!!!"

Nowaki sweat dropped and decided to pity the guy. "You can go now and settle everything with your beloved."

"You bet I will." Miyagi's tone then turned serious. "May you have all the blessing and the luck in the world then, and once you find him, make sure to not let him go again."

And with just that, the two men parted ways peacefully. Nowaki for one, never thought that he would like Miyagi as a friend.

As Nowaki was heading towards his apartment, the place he used to shared his lover, he couldn't help but feel depressed at the thought of going home to an empty house, a house devoid of his lover's presence. He heaved a sigh and took the velvet box that contains the engagement ring. _Hiro-san, I hope you are doing fine on your own. I promise I would look for you no matter what it takes._

_________________________________

Morning, the next day.....

Hiroki rubbed his eyes at the ray of sun abusing his sleepy face. He felt like crap and then for a moment wondered why. When the events of last night occurred to him, he sadly wished that he didn't make an effort to remember what just happened. He mentally laughed at himself for thinking that yesterday night' events were all just a bad dream, that he didn't really leave Kyoto, his job and ......

Nowaki....

Tears were starting to well in his eyes and he couldn't believe that he still hasn't gotten over his lover. Correction, ex-lover. He inwardly scolded himself for being emotionally weak and thus, acting pathetically this early in the morning. _I better start living my life if I still want to survive. He has already moved on and I should do the same. First things first, I have to start looking for a job now that I'm deciding to live here._

_______________________________

In Kyoto....

It was the first day that Nowaki woke up alone. With Hiroki's letter still secure tightly in his chest, he re-opened the crumpled paper that contained his lover's handwriting. Ever since he got home from his meeting with Miyagi, he kept on reading the farewell letter that his Hiro-san left him, meticulously reading between the lines with hopes of finding a clue as to where the brunette professor decided to run off to. Overcome by grief and desperation, he even rummaged throughout the entire apartment and checked each and one of his lover's stuff resulting to a catastrophe---clothes and books were simply scattered everywhere, it's as if a typhoon had hit the place.

Nowaki smiled ruefully at the irony of the situation. Every day of his life, he only wished for his lover's happiness and swore to be the provider of that happiness but it always ends up him being the one hurting his lover. Whenever he sets a goal for himself, he usually achieves it no matter how hard it is. As an orphan, he was able to live out his dream to go to college then somewhere along the way, he decided to become a doctor and after years of hard work, he was successful in becoming one. But when it comes to his Hiro-san, hard work doesn't seem to be enough---he always ends up failing miserably.

_I better start looking for Hiro-san before my night shift at the hospital starts. I will look for him even if it is the last thing I do. _With utmost determination, Nowaki left the apartment to start his search even though the chances of him finding his Hiro-san is close to null.

_______________________________

Hiroki was grinning happily as he made his way towards the exit. He couldn't believe his luck. _I got a teaching job and what's more, I will be teaching at T University. Leaving Kyoto is not such a bad thing after all._ Although, he must admit that he was saddened by the fact that he can't share his happiness with a certain navy blue haired man but nevertheless, what's important is that he has a job. He could support himself alone not to mention, his salary is thrice as high as the one given to him at M University. _I know I'm gonna be alright, while still in college, I manage to live by myself and get along just fine. I don't need anybody. I'm fine just by myself. _

Since it was his first day in Shinjuku, he decided to take a look around the place. He then decided to enter a rundown cafe to grab some lunch and be off his way. As he was about to pay for his meal, two brawny guys entered the cafe and pointed their knife at the owner and at him.

Gun shots were fired causing the other customers to go out of the establishment.

"Hey, old man if you know what's best for you, give us all your money and I will spare your pathetic life. After all, you are gonna die sooner or later, so might as well give your money to the young folks."

"I will give you the money provided that you let go of this young man."

"Wrong answer!!!!!" And with just one shot, the old man fell to the ground, dead.

"Hey Kazuo, hurry up and take all the money with you before the police comes and catches us."

For most of the time, Hiroki was frozen at the spot for fear of being killed especially with the knife being dangerously close to his midsection. _Kami-sama, this can't be happening to me._

"Nobu, hurry up and bring the car at the back door, meet me there so that we wouldn't arouse suspicion from the bystanders." 

For a moment, Hiroki thought that he was already safe since the two men were already leaving that was until he felt something hit the back of his head which rendered him unconscious.

Unbeknownst to Hiroki, his luck had began to run out and the wheels of misfortune are starting to turn.

"Kazuo, this guy's pretty hot and sexy, don't you think?"

______________________________

Nowaki can't believe his bad luck. For eight straight hours, he was running around the whole city, jumping from one subway to another but still, no lead as to where his precious Hiroki is. It's as if no one knew of his boy friend's existence. All the people he asked simply said "No, I haven't seen that guy before" or "Hmm, he looks familiar" just to be polite. Out of exasperation, he started consulting with the authorities so as to facilitate the search. Checking his wristwatch, he knew that he have to get ready for his night shift at the hospital. He reluctantly decided to go home to get his things and headed to the hospital.

_I just hope things would be better sooner or later. Hiro-san, wherever you are, I wish you are safe. Please wait for me. Aishiteru._

__________________

_Where am I?_ Hiroki was starting to regain consciousness although his throbbing head made it harder for him to do so. He tried to make sense of his surroundings through close eyes and then..._WHAT THE??_

Confuse with his surroundings, he tried to made sense of where he is. _Why is it so dark? _Using his left hand, he made an effort to bring himself up only to brush his palm against something sharp. _Ouch, that hurt...._

Oh my god........

He then realized that he was lying on the floor with broken glasses scattered everywhere. _Where am I and what's going on? I didn't just fall asleep on the floor, or did I?_He felt the cool air hit his skin and instinctively, rubbed himself with his palms only to be hit with the sudden realization that he was naked.....not just half-naked but stark naked.

_Was I drunk ? All I know is that I came here to buy lunch then some random guys....Why can't I seem to remember what happen after then? Besides, I know myself and I wouldn't get drunk alone and not to mention sleep on the floor naked for everyone to see._

Scanning for his clothes, he was relieved to find them at the countertop. He then hurriedly got out of the cafe and went straight home. To his rush, he failed to realize that somebody was following him.

When Hiroki reached his apartment, he went straight to the shower to clean himself up. For a moment, he was freaked out at the prospect of someone raping him but since he felt no backside pain or whatsoever, he concluded that he must have been just dead drunk to have fallen asleep lying naked in some cafe.

_Hiroki, you better start relaxing and get a good night's rest if you want to get ready for your first day at work tomorrow._

The thought of teaching again bought a smile to the brunette's lips. He can't wait for tomorrow to come.

______________________________________________________________________

The following day......

Hiroki Kamijou was all set for work. He meticulously prepared all his stuff and made sure that he didn't miss anything. His ID, his wallet, cell phone....everything must be perfect. He then boarded the train going to T University. _Okay, let's do this step by step. Classes begins at 7 30 am and I'm suppose to teach at 9 00 am. But first, I must go and visit the literature department to meet up with the department chair and my superior._ For a brief moment, Hiroki's thoughts went back to M University. He remembered how nervous he was on his first day at work. He mentally sighed and wondered how Miyagi and his students were coping up with his disappearance.

As he was nearing the literature department, he heard murmurings and shouting coming from the said department. He then wondered if it was a good idea to knock now and risk being shouted at or wait until they are done and risk being branded late for his appointment with the chairman.

"HOW COULD YOU MAKE SUCH A TERRIBLE MISTAKE OF HIRING SOMEONE THAT IS IMMORAL!!!! WHAT DO YOU TAKE T UNIVERSITY FOR?"

"SUMIMASEN, Shikaisha, chairman, I thought he was somebody of good moral character. I saw his previous job and it is definitely not this."

"KAMI-SAMA, Hideki-sensei, you were not born yesterday and everyone knows that things like resume could be fabricated!!!! THE POINT IS YOU SHOULD HAVE CHECKED FIRST!!"

Hiroki couldn't help but overhear what the two men were talking about. From the way the conversation was going, he figured out that the one shouting is the chairman.

"IF YOU DON'T DISPOSE OF THIS MAN IMMEDIATELY, I SUGGEST YOU HAND OUT YOUR RESIGNATION RIGHT NOW OR ELSE, I WOULD SUSPECT YOU OF RECRUITING WENCHES AS YOUR SIDELINE!!!!! YOU MAY LEAVE NOW."

"Hhhaaaii, I promise I won't commit the same mistake ever again."

Hiroki was starting to fidget in his seat hoping that the chairman would somehow cool down before talking to him.

He was then snapped out of his reverie when the door opened and a very disturbed man came out. Hiroki then realized that it was the man who interviewed him yesterday. He immediately stood up and bowed down to show his respect. "Ohayou gozaimasu" ,feeling extremely hypocrite for how can one have a good morning when he or she had just been scolded, "I am here to see the chairman."

"No need for that." Hiroki shivered at the dark, cold tone coming from the man. "Come with me to my office and then we'll talk."

Confused, Hiroki just followed, afraid to further aggravate the man.

They both entered a whitewash room filled with bookshelves and with papers lying everywhere. Hiroki was amazed at the vastness of the room and he can't wait to get started. He could imagine himself taking home five books a week and reading them until his eyes fall off their sockets.

"Hmmmph, enjoying yourself aren't we Kamijou? Please drink in the sight of my office for this will be the last time you would set foot in this place."

Shocked, Hiroki was at lost for words.

"DON'T PRETEND THAT YOU ARE SHOCKED OR TERRIFIED. YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING WWHOOR...YOU ALMOST COST ME MY JOB. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO FEED MY FAMILY THEN???"

"Wwwwwwhat are you talking about, Sir? Hiroki is now shivering from fright. "Wwwwwhat did I do, Sir?" 

"WHAT DID YOU DO? WHAT DID YOU DO? YOU DARE ASK ME THIS QUESTION WHEN THE WHOLE TOWN KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE. SEE FOR YOURSELF."

The angry man then pulled out a tabloid from his shirt and threw it in the brunette's face.

Hiroki then burst into tears not only because he was being maltreated but because of what the picture in the tabloid contained.

There in the whole front page is his picture......STARK NAKED with his private part being portrayed clearly. And what's more, the picture is being coupled up with side pics which focused on his body parts: one side pic contains his genitalia, another one contained his butt and several more X-rated images of his body.

OVERALL, the point is that he was framed and Kamijou knew what was coming. Before the other man could utter a word, Kamijou politely cut him off. "Sir, gogomen for this. Watashi....I will go now."

Hiroki didn't wait for the man's reply and quickly dashed towards the door. _Kamisama, am I evil? What did I do to deserve this kind of hell? Isn't it enough that my lover left me for somebody else? Please somebody help me!!! Just how many people have seen this photo?_He ran and ran until he finally reached his apartment. He dashed towards the stairs and locked himself inside his room. He took out the tabloid from his trench coat and glared at it again with puffy eyes. He was rational enough not to throw it in some random places in the street for that would simply be picked up by someone else. No, he would tear this tabloid apart and burned it until nothing is left of it.

Rrrrring....rrringgggg.....

Just as Hiroki was about to burn the offending reading material, his phone rang causing him to yelp in surprise. He glared at it wishing that it would stop disturbing him from his mission of destroying the tabloid.

"HELLO"

"Hhheey there cutie, seems like you are in great distress."

"OH YOU BET I AM AND WHO ARE YOU. I AM BUSY RIGHT NOW AND THIS BETTER NOT BE A PRANK CALL.....DAMN ALL OF YOU."

"Oh I see now I wonder, is it because we took a photo of you? Sorry, we couldn't resist. You are such a beaut and beauties like you should be displayed for the whole world to see, don't you agree?"

"WHO IS THIS? YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU WERE THE ONE WHO DID THIS TO ME???"

"Oh come on, don't be upset. We are simply doing our job of recruiting damsels like you."

"GO TO HELL, WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU???"

"Oh nothing except for the fact that you are a hottie."

Hiroki could hear the guys smirking and making wolf whistles on the other line and that only infuriate him more.

"I SWEAR I'M GONNA GET YOU KILLED AND I'LL MAKE SURE THE POLICE KNOWS ABOUT THIS."

"Oh the police, let me guess....oh hehe, good suggestion, they might want to have a piece of your cute body. Let's just say we control the police or to be more specific, my boss pays them."

.......................no answer

"Look, I know where you are living, I know how you look like and I definitely know what you are doing right now."

"Ppprovvee it...."

"Well, we know for a fact that you just lost your job, am I correct?"

Snifff

"Since we are not the bad guys, we could offer you a job, a high paying one at that."

_.....................no answer_

"If you are interested, please meet us at the cafe that you went to yesterday. That is all I could say babe."

....................no answer coupled with a sniffling sound

"Oh by the way, you can't decline this job offering unless you want your pictures scattered not only on the tabloids but also in the main stream newspapers."

"NO NO NO, YOU CAN'T DO THAT."

"Oh yes we can. As you can see now, we give candies not only to the police but also to the media. And do I have to mention that my boss owns a big share in the media industry here?"

beeeeeeeep beeeeeep beeeeeeeep

Hiroki stared blankly at his phone. Stared stared and stared then threw himself on the bed, crying nonstop until he fell asleep.

A/N: Again, sorry for not updating soon. Reviews will be highly entertained and welcomed with open arms. Please do tell me if you have any problems with the way I wrote the story. Was I too fast or too dragging?

Oh before I forget, homophobic (boy love haters) reviews are gladly NOT entertained.


	3. Chapter 3: The Letter

Author's Note: Whewww, just experienced one of the worst months of my life. I hope that it doesn't get in the way of my muse. Oh, thank you so much to Hiroki. no. fan., ToxiChick13, Yaoifangirl89, Aya Aiba, yamasasha, JunJouVampire, I Stephanie I, and Kai for their reviews on the previous chapter. Thank you also for those people who alerted or favorited this story:)

Warning: Boy x Boy love (not platonic); with short bits of explicit content

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica.

Summary: Miyagi was helping Nowaki with his search for Hiroki. A week after the disappearance, Nowaki received a letter from his lover's parents. What does the letter say? Meanwhile, Hiroki was starting to lose hope about his current situation.

* * *

Chapter 3: The Letter

Nowaki cried for the first time in a week since his lover's disappearance. He was just getting ready for work that night and before he headed for the door, he checked himself in front of the mirror. To his surprise, dark circles were forming under his eyes, his skin color was slowly resembling that of the dead and his overall figure could be mistaken for an anorexic person. He was surprised that his body hadn't given up on him yet just like his lover had done so. And as he thought of Hiroki, a tear formed at the corner of his left eye and then another one, until he could no longer stopped himself. Unbeknownst to him, he was not the only one who was crying uncontrollably.

* * *

Hiroki was sobbing relentlessly when some rich old perverted man penetrated him with a bottle of wine. It ached like hell but nothing could compare to the pain he was carrying in his heart. Not only did he lost his job and lover, but he also lost his will to live. Since last week, he had been trained by both Nobu and Kazuo, his captors, to behave like a good pet or else, he would be caned until he lost consciousness. And finally after a week of endless torture, Hiroki learned helplessness, obeying no one except his so-called trainers.

"You are a cute one, aren't you? Aww, don't cry, it feels good right?"

Hiroki groaned in pain. _Itai, it hurts, oh Kami, please make this stop. Nowaki, Nowaki, please save me. _

For the next few minutes, Hiroki muffled his sobs with the pillow, not wanting to show weakness in front of some random geezer. A wave of relief hit him when the bottle was removed out of him but it was only for a short while. He glanced back over his left shoulder only to see the old man removing his slacks and his face paled at the bulge forming in the geezer's boxers. _Shit, no, no, this couldn't be happening to me, oh god no,_ He started crying and this time he didn't bother hiding it. He couldn't believe that he would soon be penetrated by someone other than Nowaki. He is going to be raped.

AAAAAAHHHH.................NO, PLEASE TAKE IT OFF, ONEGAI......GET OUT....PLEASE....

Without warning, the old geezer entered him. As the brunette underneath him was thrashing and screaming, the old man couldn't had his way with him and so.....

"SHIT, WHAT KIND OF SERVICE DO YOU SERVE YOUR CUSTOMERS HERE, HUH?"

Just then, two men who were wearing black tuxedos barged in the room and injected Hiroki with some sort of drug. Hiroki could immediately feel the effects of the drug and before he knew it, his body was on fire. He could feel himself getting aroused by the minute and his whole body was craving to be touched. _No, no, no, please, no, I don't want this, no I hate this. _He was trying his best to psyche himself up into believing that he couldn't possibly get aroused by other men other than the one he loved, especially not some random rich perverts.

"Hmm, that's more I like it. I can feel that you want me to touch you, right?" The old man started touching him, caressing his nipples and licking him senselessly making the brunette moan relentlessly, hating himself for loving someone else's touch. _Nowaki, please forgive me, I swear I still love you. _

The old geezer then went further down and start massaging his crotch, making Hiroki's hips lurched upward, meeting his penetrator's touch. He could feel himself getting closer to the edge. He felt mortified at the thought of releasing into another's touch. He stopped himself no matter how much his body wants to. _Please, please, let him do whatever he likes, not this, no, anything but this. I don't want to cum for this man._

"Let's see, why are you stopping yourself, ahh, perhaps you want us both to cum together, am I right? Hmmph, I should have known wenches like you love the idea of being dominated."

Hiroki's mind was screaming at him to do something, the thought of killing this guy even dared crossed his mind. He wanted to stop this guy from his next move but before he could forcefully removed himself from the other's penetration, the guy buried himself to the very hilt of his opening making him scream from utter pain. But as the old geezer moved inside him, he had to bit his lips hard from moaning in pleasure and the drug that was injected into his system only tripled the ecstatic feeling.

"Come on, you whore," he then moved faster inside the brunette making Hiroki screamed in pleasure, "moan as much as you can, you know you want it."

And to the old man's delight and to Hiroki's chagrin, both of them came together.

The old geezer then removed himself from the brunette and then put his clothes back on.

"It was a pleasure doing business with you, how shall I put it, you were great and so far, you were the best among all the services that Seiji-san offered me." He then took a wad of cash from his leather wallet, without even bothering to count, and left it beside the brunette before heading for the door.

Hiroki hugged himself and at the same time, inwardly hating himself from allowing someone to enter him. Even though this was not his fault, he felt responsible for the tragedy that occurred to him. Thoughts of him being safe in Nowaki's arms were the only reason as to why he was still able to keep himself from going insane from the past week's tortures. And today was the worst one so far and this time, he couldn't managed to picture himself being hugged by Nowaki as he was being penetrated a while ago, all he could conjure in his mind was a picture Nowaki getting disgusted with him by the second. His lover's disgusted face was only helping him sink further into depression. He could no longer stopped himself from hollering at his current state.

_Leaving Kyoto was a big mistake and perhaps, the biggest mistake I had ever committed in my entire life._

A month had passed by and still no sign of where his Hiro-san was. Nowaki couldn't believed it himself and it hurt to admit that he was losing hope for the first time in his whole existence. After a week of his lover's absence, Nowaki started frequenting M University with Miyagi's help just to increase his chances of finding his Hiro-san.

"Nowaki," they were already on first name basis after their first ever "humane" meeting just right after Hiroki's disappearance, "How are you?" It was usually Miyagi who would first initiate the conversation.

"Still the same," the navy blue male replied truthfully, "just checking around..."

"Uhm, how are things between you and Shinobu then?"

Miyagi's face brightened up, "Well, let's just say that my control over my personal urges were much more solid than my brat, and due to the news that his father would like him to go to Australia after graduating from law school, let's just say that he's being much more clingy to me than ever." He couldn't help but smirked at the memory of Shinobu begging him for sex yesterday night. He just came back from work when the youth attacked him with kisses and crying fiercely on his chest, going about how his old man was forcing him to leave Japan and that they should maximize whatever time they had left together. And of course, after abstaining for more than three weeks, Miyagi happily complied leaving his brat sore until today. "If you ask me, the boy's overreacting coz the chairman told me that they'd only be away for a good three weeks and besides, his graduation would be like three to five years from now."

Nowaki retorted with just a smile but it was enough for Miyagi to convey the action as 'good for you'. The older of the two of them sighed.

"Let's skip the formalities," Miyagi was finding it hard to say the words he'd been saying for the past three weeks and inwardly sighed, "I still had no clue as to where he is."

"I see," despite the disappointing news, Nowaki still smiled and thanked the man for his efforts.

Awkward silence......

"Ja, Nowaki-kun, I better get going, it's getting late and I believe you should be heading home to prepare yourself for work tonight, am I right?"

"Oh, gomen for making you stay late at school then ja, I better get going."

As both gentleman headed off their separate ways, Miyagi couldn't help but wonder how long would Nowaki be able to last this excruciating torture.

* * *

"Nowaki-saaaaaaan,"

"Tsumori-sensei, konbanwa, good evening," he bowed to his superior before tending back to the kids.

"Aww, don't be like that," the brunette doctor then hugged his assistant from behind, "eeeeh? is it just me or are you getting skinnier."

"Sensei, let's just focus on the sick children."

Tsumori's face then became more serious, "Nowaki, look, if you keep on pushing yourself like this, I'm afraid you'll not be able to last longer in this field. Imagine all your hard work going to waste just like that."

Nowaki was silent but still kept his fake smile so as not to cause uneasiness among the kids.

"Look, this is not going to make things better and do you honestly think that he would be happy when he sees you like this."

"Gomen, sorry, sensei, demo, I simply couldn't helped myself. Uhm and please, if you don't mind, Tsumori-san, could you stop hugging me."

"Ah hehe, okies, but always remember, Nowaki, they are also other people who worries about you and if you need help, I'll always be here for you."

"Thank you sensei," Nowaki then went back to his work, failing to see the brief glimmer of hope in the other's eyes.

* * *

"Damn you, bitch, how dare you bit me?"

Hiroki was once again being locked up in a whitewash room and being trained to learn how to suck a man's genitalia. But of course, instead of the real one, Kazuo forcefully inserted his fingers inside the brunette's mouth which proved to be a bad move for he ended up nursing his phalanges.

Nobu then cringed at his partner's outburst, then without further ado, he whipped the chained brunette on his back rendering him unconscious. Kazuo then was about to punch brunette but was stopped by Nobu. "Hey composed yourself, remember the rules: no hitting up front especially the face or else,...."

"Kuso," Kazuo was starting to get pissed. "Ne, Nobu, can we request for us to be transferred into another department. I'm getting tired of taming damsels such as this wench here and risked getting hurt every second with their bites and kicks."

"Instead of complaining, why not just focus on the task at hand, this wench here is going to make us rich once we are able to tame him." Nobu regarded his partner seriously, "judging from his performance last week, this damsel was able to surpass our other merchandises in terms of attractiveness and popularity. Even some rich dirty old government officials would now like to get their hands on him despite the fact that he is a guy. But I doubt that the boss would sell him like the others since this one is such a gold mine."

"Hmmph, I know that but don't we deserve an increase in our salary since it was US who had a hard time scheming and capturing this so-called wench."

"Hey quiet down, in case you haven't noticed, this room had cameras installed all over it, and if the boss happens to be observing you in one of those contraptions, you're dead meat."

"I know that," Kazuo snapped, "What do you take me for? Ohh, I want so much to punch this guy in the face, how dare he bit me. Tell me again, why haven't we sent him yet to the undergrounds?"

"Because we need him to be under us so that every customer that comes along the way, the boss will pay us a part of the earnings," Nobu was getting tired of arguing, "since he is already unconscious, can we just leave him alone here and please, don't forget to lock the door like you did last time, it almost cost us our lives when the merchandise almost escaped."

Kazuo gave up for deep down he knew that his partner was right, so instead of arguing any further, he went straight for the door, signaling for Nobu to follow him and then shutting the door behind them.

* * *

Hiroki felt like his back had been torched by the fires of hell. He could feel a large gash forming at his back, extending from the his right shoulder blades all the way down to his left waist. _Shit, am I dead? _Ever since his first rape, he couldn't stopped hoping for death to come. Death after all, meant the end of everything, including his wretched existence. He knew for sure that this was the place where he would meet his end. No one can save him, not even his family, friends or

_Him....._

He bit his lips as the image of his navy blue haired lover sprang to mind. Until now, his dreams still involved around Nowaki making sweet love to him while he ran his hands through Nowaki's hair, neck and back. He could feel himself getting aroused at just the thought and crying in frustration at not being able to satisfy his needs. But then as usual, his dreams would turn against him.

_Nowaki, will you marry me?_

_Tsumori will marry Nowaki? _And that was when Hiroki's eyes would start to water again, crying nonstop until he falls asleep and dreams of his lover. The horrible cycle then repeats itself.

* * *

"Kazuo, Nobu-san, the boss requests for you presence at the red room," it was one of bodyguards.

"Now, what does he wa.. ouch, damn you, Nobu!!!"

Nobu eyed his partner warningly, silently pointing at the bodyguard's cold gaze towards them._ "If you don't shut up this instance, I wouldn't save your butt like last time."_

Nobu shifted his gaze towards the bulky man in front of him and politely replied, "Of course, thank you for informing us. Would you kindly lead the way for us?"

"WHAT? WE KNOW OUR WAY AROUND THIS VICINITY especially to the red room."

This time it wasn't only Nobu who was glaring heatedly at him…..

Click…….

A sleek silver gun was now pointed dangerously close to Kazuo's chest.

Silence reigned, only their ragged breathings could be heard and then a gunshot echoed.

"You should better know by now that going against us is something only gods could do." And then the bulky man sauntered towards the exit.

Slowly, Nobu pulled Kazuo after noticing that his friend was frozen in place.

"Am I still alive?" Kazuo shakingly asked.

Nobu heaved a sigh. "As of the moment you are but if we don't follow him, I'm afraid that it would be different story."

"Then what are we waiting for? I still want my life, ikuzo, let's go...."

* * *

"Oi old man, why are you so flustered?" Shinobu was getting annoyed at being ignored by his lover for the last ten minutes.

"Wwhat?? It's nothing Shinobu-chin, I just forgot something from the office, stay here and don't go away, I'll be right back." Miyagi Yoh ran towards the door, not bothering to look back for he might change his mind about leaving his younger lover alone.

_I couldn't believe it, this isn't happening. Oh shoot, I wonder how Nowaki's coping up with all of this?_

_

* * *

_

"Please take a sit Nobu, Kazuo," the bodyguard gestured roughly. Within a few minutes, a pale man with long jet black hair emerged. Judging from his looks, he could be mistaken for a college grad and not someone who is already in his thirties.

"Good evening, Sire." Both Nobu and Kazuo bowed their heads to show their uttermost respect to their leader. Regardless of Kazuo's complaints with his work, he couldn't help but admire his boss not only in terms of looks, wealth but also with the way the young proprietor handles his affairs. Only a few youngsters like him make it alive into the black market and not to mention, only a half of those said youngsters, become the kingpin.

"I apologize for my bodyguard's behavior a while ago."

"Ya....uhm, no, I mean, it was partly my fault." Nobu noticed Kazuo trembling although he doesn't know whether it's because of happiness or fear.

The young man turned his gaze towards Nobu, "I believe this is the first time you guys are able to enter my sanctuary in what is commonly known as the red room."

Both men nodded. True, they know their way around the vicinity, especially the one that will lead them to the red room but both men were inwardly shocked when they entered the place for one, it is not as red as what most of them thought, second, the room look like any ordinary quarters in Japan, only more spacious and luxurious.

"Like the others that have come before you, I guess you two, are also wondering as to why this is called the red room. Well, the answer is simple, being your boss means that I'm one of the kingpins in the market, our sector is formally called human resources or commonly known as prostitution and for that, I am known as the red king." He stop momentarily to scan the room just to make sure that he still has everyone's attention---a habit he had formed through the years of talking with the other bosses.

Satisfied that he has everyone's full attention, he continued, "As you may have heard, only those who have performed exceptionally well or have contributed significantly to the business are only the ones who are summon here. Well, congratulations then, I am proud of you two for increasing our profit by twenty percent just for the past week. Everyone wants to get their grubby hands to the brunette you've recruited. For that alone, our sector now has a potential to surpass other kingpins. Please take a look at all of these."

Another bodyguard handed a suitcase to both Nobu and Kazuo.

"Yes, I know these were the pictures you two had taken a month ago but besides that, I want you to see something else, please take a look at the back of each photo."

Nobu and Kazuo couldn't believed their eyes at what they had just seen.

"As you may have correctly guessed by now, these are the amounts that our buyers are willing to pay for this merchandise. And for that very reason alone, I am reluctant to sell the brunette for he is such a gold mine and by not letting him go will I only be able to keep the bidding for his body going. But of course, I wouldn't want to disappoint our clients, I would let them get a taste of him so that they'll crave for more."

Kazuo and Nobu held their breaths, shocked to the very core at how ruthless their young leader could be especially when it comes to money.

"My point is, I want you guys to be this brunette's personal trainer from now on, no one is allowed to touch or train him unless you guys think it's for the best. I also realize that he is quite a rebellious one, if necessary, you could punish him as much as you want or even inject something into his system, depends on what you think is the best, provided that you yourselves or any one else in the vicinity do not dare violate him, do I make myself clear?"

"Yyyyes boss, I will certainly take into heart everything you've said," Kazuo's eyes were lighting up every second. He couldn't believe that he had just been entrusted by his beloved leader.

"Oh how rude of me for forgetting to mention that each of you would get ten percent of the total money from the brunette's services each month. So, Kazuo, am I fair enough for increasing your salary?"

Kazuo gulped. _Shit, he knew._

Nobu looked haughtily at his partner. _See, I told you._

"But that's beside the point, I also want to add that in case, the merchandise's value gets too expensive for our local market here, I would like to ship him to other countries. For all you know, we could earn thrice the money we are getting from here. And of course, you guys will get to travel as well."

"Sir, forgive me for questioning your strategies, but should we limit the venue for the auction in a certain area?"

"What do you mean by that, Nobu?"

"Shinjuku is a very famous place, a lot of people frequents the place so I'm just wondering, what if someone close to the brunette came to one of our auctions and recognizes him?"

"Relax, I had everything under control. Any more questions, gentlemen?"

Silence....

"Hmm, so I guess that's all for today, you may leave now I guess, but may I request a favor from you two," the red king then smiled cheekily, "please pass by the dungeon and deliver the corpse there to this address written here." He then stood up and signalled for his two bodyguards to accompany his two visitors outside.

* * *

"Professor, the letter," Miyagi noticed Nowaki's entire being quivering as if preventing himself from breaking down in front of him, "I..I got it from the post this morning,"

This time, Nowaki was covering his face with his left hand while extending his right hand that contains the letter to Miyagi, "this letter was originally for Hiro-san's parents and they forwarded it to me the moment they read its contents."

Before he could stop himself, Miyagi snatched the letter none too gently and immediately unfolded it. There's only one thing that ran through his head.

_SHIT, DOUBLE SHIT_

For there, printed in large bold letters,

THIS LETTER IS TO INFORM MR, & MRS. KAMIJOU ABOUT THE UNFORTUNATE DEATH OF THEIR SON, HIROKI KAMIJOU.

Miyagi continued reading, hoping to see anything below the letter that would disrepute the nightmarish news peg. Unfortunately, it only served to confirm.

HIS BODY WILL BE SENT TO YOU TONIGHT AT THE LATEST.

_Calm down, Miyagi, this could be some sort of joke...._ "Nowaki, do you happen to know the sender?"

Nowaki took the envelope from the dining table and handed it to Miyagi, "Hiro-san's parents' want to talk to me this evening, they're on their way now and Mrs. Kamijou doesn't seem happy." As the latter read, his whole body shook. For inside the envelope was a picture of Hiroki's body and signed below the picture is

_From: The Police_

_

* * *

_A/N: Please tell me if there are some parts that aren't clear or if I need to edit some errors:) I would love to hear from you guys. I'm fine with constructive criticisms. As usual, homophobic reviews are higly unwelcome.


	4. Chapter 4: At the Funeral

Author's Note: Oh boy, one of my reviewers just messaged me that I update pretty slow. I apologize for the now and for the future slowness of my writing pace (hehe). Thank you so much to savagen, Aya Aiba, JunJouVampire, Sarasnk, ToxiChick13, I Stephanie I, Yaoifangirl89, yamasasha, Hiroki. no. fan., Little-fox012, TechNomaNcer28, Kumiko1997, Ebony-Knight, Shippowaffle, and jjjjj. I highly salute you guys for being patient in dropping reviews:) Thank you also for those who alerted and favorited this story.

Warning: Boy x Boy love (not platonic); with short bits of explicit content

Disclaimer: I do not own Junjou Romantica.

Summary: Now that it is not only Nowaki who knows about his lover's disappearance, how will the other people close to Hiroki react?

* * *

Chapter 4: At the Funeral

_WHAT IS THIS????_

Akihiko could feel his blood turning ice cold as he stared at the horrendous photograph of his.......

_IT CAN'T BE......_

_his childhood friend........._

_DEAD???_

_What kind of joke is this???_ _But this picture is from Hiroki's parents.....forwarded to me just now. Who on earth is the original sender?_

The vividness of the image did nothing to soothe the author's nerves. It only served to make his already bad day into one hell of a nightmare.

"Usagi-saan, ohayou,"

No answer......

Misaki scanned the whole apartment. Usually, his lover would be home before he comes back. _That's weird, usually, he informs me whenever he plans on coming home late. _He wouldn't admit it but yeah, he was also worried for his lover.

It didn't take long for there in the living room, seated at the sofa was none other than his Usagi. He was just about to enter and greet his lover casually when he noticed that something's off.

Usagi didn't notice his presence and he doesn't seem to be faking it. He also noticed that his lover's face was kind of stoic and tense.....as if something terrible happened. For a second, Misaki panicked, trying to figure out if something's wrong with his lover. To his relief, it appears to be that nothing's amiss in terms of physical wellness.

"Usagi-san?"

After three seconds of receiving no reaction, Misaki went to sit beside his lover, hoping to cheer him up somehow.

Curiously, Misaki peeked at the photo that was secured in his lover's hands. Upon seeing the photo, he screamed at the top of his lungs for the image does not only contain a naked body but also torn skins and long gashes at the sides accompanied by dislocated limbs.

_WHAT IS THIS??? _

Usagi was snapped out of his reverie. Out of instinct, he hurriedly hugged his lover, just to make sure that he is still there, living and breathing beside him. _Never mind Hiroki's parents, I can't imagine what his lover is going through right now. Just the thought of it makes my head hurt. What if this happens to Misaki? I honestly don't know what to make of it if that ever happens._

"UUusagi?" Misaki was slightly blushing from the sudden outburst of affection. By now, he is already used to his older lover's explicit display of affection but nonetheless, he never gets tired of it. Not that he would admit it to anyone, not even to himself.

"Misaki, don't move......."

...............

"Misaki, starting from now on, I would not permit you to go out of the house without me accompanying you."

"HEY, NO FAIR, THIS IS GOING OVERBOARD AND WHO GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO mmmmmmpph."

The kiss was long, tender and passionate with none of them wanting to let go. Misaki felt his legs give away from the heat of the moment but that was until he heard a sobbing tone coupled with the feeling of wetness along his sleeves.

It took a moment for Misaki to realize that his older lover was crying. His first instinct was to pull away from Usagi but the latter only held him tighter. "Usagi-san, what's wrong?"

................

"Misaki, Hiroki's dead........."

* * *

In Nowaki's apartment

SLAP..........

"HOW DARE YOU!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO OUR SON????"

Mrs. Kamijou couldn't help herself but to lash at the so-called boyfriend of his one and only beloved son. Honestly speaking, she didn't really approved of their relationship since time in memorial, but god knows how hard it was for her to accept this aspect of his son's life.

Meanwhile, Nowaki was just standing there, nursing his swollen cheek with his right hand, not even the least bit shock at the sudden outburst of the lady in front of him. It is as if he is anticipating for it to happen.

"AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TELLING US THE MOMENT HE HAS GONE MISSING? DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK THAT YOU OWN HIM FULLY JUST BECAUSE HE LIVES WITH YOU????? YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A...."

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!!!"

Mr. Kamijou finally took center stage and decided to stand between the two before the other suffers more damage. With the way things are going, his wife will not stop until she renders the tall man unconscious. He tried calming his wife down but to no avail since the latter is still shooting heated glares at the tall man.

"I...it's okay, Mr. Kamijou......I....I understand her outburst.......and I'm sorry" As Nowaki said this, he still couldn't look straight into the eyes of his lover's parents.

"NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES YOU APOLOGIZE TO US......OUR SON IS NEVER GOING TO COME BACK ALIVE!!!!!!"

"Hush.....hush.....remember that we are here to find a solution and not to fuel our problems more.......the last thing we need is that we are fighting against each other and not against the real enemy...."

"But hon...."

"Mrs. Kamijou," Nowaki finally found the courage to talk to the elder woman, "I'm deeply sorry for not informing you about your son's disappearance but honestly, it was never my intention to hide this from you guys. I will accept any form of punishment that you will impose upon me. Please forgive me." He then proceeded to bow down in front of her.

Mrs. Kamijou was lost for the time being. Not knowing what to feel, she walked out of the house without even bothering to wait for her husband.

"Son, I know how you feel but I cannot say that I forgive you totally. After all, we are talking about my only son here. Now if you would please excuse us...."

Nowaki simply nodded at the man's words. Right now, he does not have an energy to do anything, not even for his shift later that night at the hospital. He just wants this day to be over with so that he could sleep throughout this whole ordeal........

For he was just too tired......too tired of being alive

He doesn't see the point of working hard anymore, not when the person he was supposed to dedicate his whole life to is now gone.....GONE......

Until now, the word hasn't sink in to his consciousness.....until now, he hasn't cried yet.....until now, everything doesn't make any sense. He is like a child who has just lost his parents but still doesn't have any clue with regards to the gravity of the situation.

He just wished that the world would stop moving for a while. Give him a break to understand everything......

Specifically, to understand loneliness......he wasn't even sure if he wants to go that way.

* * *

A week later.......

Nowaki stares blankly at the wired fence that separates him from the other visitors. For there he was, watching from afar the burial of his one and only love.

_Fate is just outright cruel......_

_For even in death, he was not allowed to go near his love......_

No one wants him there for everyone thinks that it was his fault for letting Hiroki die except for Miyagi and Usagi. Both men were inside the burial grounds, mourning with the other guests and making sure to keep the more sensitive guests from breaking down.

Nowaki was just grateful that he was even allowed to watch the burial at the very least for Mrs. Kamijou gave strict orders to the guards not to let him in. It was only due to Mr. Kamijou that he was allowed to enter the vicinity.

As he watch the people entering and exiting, he felt a strong resentment coursing through his veins. _How dare they just leave without finishing the ceremony! Don't they even have respect for the dead? I swear if I am the one who is in there, I would stay 'til the very end!_

He banged the fence as hard as he could, without a care in the world. He was downright angry and frustrated, two emotions that he usually don't feel, finally began to manifest itself.

It was a good thing that no one heard him or else he could have been thrown out.

_This was not how it is supposed to be....I should be the one who should die first...not you... never you....._

He could feel his body heating up and his head hurt like hell therefore he decided to go back inside the vicinity's foyer and hope that the pain will go away.

As he was dragging his feet towards the foyer, he accidentally bumped into another guy causing the said guy to land on his butt.

'HEY WATCH IT!!!!" The guy then immediately stood up and was about to hit Nowaki. Luckily, the other guy came to stop him before things get more complicated.

"WHAT THE....HELL NOBU?? THIS GUY attacked me first!!!"

"Whatever the reason Kazuo, remember what we are here for...do me a favor and stick to the plan for once, will you?"

"Sumimasen, I'm sorry...." And with that, Nowaki left the two men behind, currently not in the mood to get into any fights. He just wants everything to hasten up, not wanting to stop at anything for only through this way will he be able to stop feeling the incessant pain knawing into his very core.

Although sometimes, to be always in a hurry entails a lot of consequences......

Because for one,

He failed to notice that there were three men instead of two. Aside from the ones that he had left arguing, he never bothered to look at the much more obscure figure of the third person in the party. The one who looked at him with sadness, desperation, longingness and most of all, love.

* * *

Meanwhile.....

"How dare that guy bumped into me? If he only knew that I'm part of the mafia, I think that he will sink into his knees begging me not to slice him alive!!!"

There was no reply not even from Nobu for he was downright tired on arguing with his partner about the same topic the entire afternoon. _Well, perhaps giving him the cold shoulder will shut him up. This is definitely not the time for such meaningless conversations, we have a much more bigger problem right here. _"Hey, where do you think should we put this damsel here?"

"Hmmmph, are you even listening to me? Sheesh, just locked him up in one of the rooms and let's call this a night. I want my beauty sleep for we haven't had it since last week....especially with all the covering up we have to do during the burial preparations."

Nobu nodded. Both of them did not have any sleep since last week for they had been busy "making arrangements" and bribing the undertaker for whatever last minute changes that have to be made.

* * *

Flashback.....

"Please pass by dungeon and deliver the corpse to this address."

"Wwwhat is this suppose to mean?" Kazuo felt a chill run through his spine.

"Just make sure that that corpse would look like your protege aka Hiroki here. And with that, I leave it into your reliable hands the necessary steps to go about this. Surely you know what my intentions are."

Nobu gulped. "You mean to say that we'll claim that he is dead?"

The red king didn't say anything else but instead gave both of them an enigmatic smile.

End of Flashback.....

In short, the picture that was sent to Hiroki's parents was real but the body in the funeral was definitely not their son's body. Only the most and highly skilled undertaker could possibly do such drastic altercations that even amongst the hundreds of guests that attended and have seen the corpse, none of them realized that they were mourning for a totally different person.

* * *

In one of the compartments......Hiroki's POV Flashback

**SLAP**

"Oi, bitch, don't you dare scream here!!!!"

Hiroki didn't know what in the world these two are up to. _Damn, that slap hurt like hell._ _What's this place? A cemetery?_

"Hey come on bitch, let's go down, we couldn't afford to leave you in the car and give you a chance to escape won't we?"

Hiroki complied. He just wanted to finish this day off and go back to sleep inside his cell while avoiding as much physical pain as possible during his waking hours. He was too used to all the dragging and all the physical abuse being inflicted upon his body day and night to the point that he stopped screaming whenever they do something on him.

"Hey, didn't you hear me? I said stop right there," Kazuo was just about to hit him again when Nobu stopped him. "Shhhh, you don't want to cause a commotion here."

_What is going on here? Why is my mom and dad here? What the....why are they all in mourning clothes? Usagi and Miyagi? What the....._

Hiroki couldn't help himself from crying. He never thought that he would miss his friends and family this much. Should he run away from these two guys? But what if the mafia finds him and kills his family? _Oh kami, please help me...._

As the crowd was slowly dispersing, Hiroki couldn't believe what he was seeing in front of him.

For there, engraved on the tombstone, in big bold letters:

Here Lies Hiroki Kamijou: A Loving Son, Friend and Mentor

He then understood....understood what was happening to him. _This can't be possible. No no this isn't happening......._

Just when he thought that the mafia can't do any more damage to him, here they are, with a new and a brilliant plot to make it seem to the whole world that he is already dead....silently telling everyone that looking for him is useless, that they already found him dead.

As they were about to leave the cemetery or to be more precise, as he was being drag out of the place.......

"HEY WATCH IT!!!!"

He appreciated the momentary lack of grip on his wrist, but that appreciation was short lived as he saw the man....

......he love

_Please don't look....don't look......_

......who broke his heart

_I don't want him to see me like this_

......who patiently loved him

_Loved? That was before right? Nowaki, you don't love me anymore right?_

"Sumimasen."

_Although why does it hurt so much that he didn't even notice me?_

_And why isn't he near my tombstone? Does he hate me that much? Was he just there out of obligation?_

_If so then....it's better that I die......_

End of Flashback

_Cold_

_Helpless_

_Numb_

_Hopeless_

_........_

_.........._

_............_

_Desire for Death_

Drip.....drip..........sound of tears hitting the cold stone pavement

_Nowaki_

_No matter what happens, I still love you even if you don't think of me anymore_

With that last thought, Hiroki fell into a deep, disturbing sleep.

To be continued....

* * *

A/N: Any comments, suggestions, violent reactions? Feel free to review and message me but I am not going to assure you that I will be able to incorporate all of the suggestions. Rest assured that I would read each and every one of them:)

Please do not attempt to submit any homophobic reviews. In my opinion, such reviews do not exist in this world.


	5. Chapter 5: Hazel Rose

Author's Note: Oh dear, it's almost a year since the last time I updated this story. Too many personal and societal issues on my part. But this is not an excuse for being a late artist. And I cannot help myself but be grateful to those who reviewed the last chapter (ahem, last year). Thanks to ... Thank you for sharing your thoughts on my story. Just as much as I appreciate those who reviewed, my heart can't help but jump whenever I see people alerting and favoriting my story.

I reviewed the story outline and I still have not much of an idea as to how to fit in the romantica couple aka Usagi and Misaki. But the good news is I somehow manage to fit in the terrorist couple aka Miyagi and Shinobu. Hope you like it! Oh by the way, this story will have one to two more chapters and that will be the end of it.

Warning: Boy x Boy love (not platonic); with short bits of explicit content but just to be safe, I rated the story "M". In addition, there are some parts, only a few, that involve cursing and swearing.

Disclaimer: I do not own JunjouRomantica.

Summary: Life goes on. Shinobu and Miyagi both have each other. Nowaki is still working at a hospital as a full time doctor with the same boss, his sempai Tsumori. Kamijou was relocated and is not "working" in Japan anymore. He has already given up on his fate and just accepted whatever is happening to him. Will there still be a chance for the egoist couple to meet up?

* * *

Chapter 5: Hazel Rose

Several years later...

Impassively, Kamijou Hiroki wiped the trail of blood and semen from his abused hole that was left by his current client.

His gaze held no life in them. An empty shell that simply obeys whoever commands him. The little shred of hope that he had was already long gone. It silently died down as his mind, body and soul were abused beyond repair.

...He waited...but no help arrived not even a single hint that anybody out there cared for him.

If time heals...it is because one has lost the will to fight and hope.

The once proud Kamijou Hiroki was reduced to an empty shell. A being that is forced to a life of silence, of numbness and of resignedness.

After a while, he made a move to get himself out of the plush bed. He already memorized how his body would react during each encounter. He knew the precise time that he could move his body depending on the level of damage that was inflicted upon it.

His client tonight was a little bit on the rough side, but nevertheless, he was not the roughest of them all. He had experiences before that made him passed out due to loss of blood. The room smelled of iron and that was the only time that he noticed that he was still bleeding. He was so used to such kind of torture that he no longer felt threatened, only more accepting of his dreadful situation.

_I better get out of here before the two losers caught me lazing around here._

He took a quick shower and cleaned every open wounds so as not to end up in infection. His keepers always make sure that his skin remains blemish free, so as not to lose attractive clients who had loads of money to burn. The more sadistic the client is, the higher the pay is. That's what he noticed from experience alone. His keepers never allowed him to see a client even with just a slight cut; they would make sure that he is always attractive and beautiful. In effect, they make him "unavailable" whenever his body is still not devoid of scars and blemishes.

Sometimes, he can't help but wish that all his clients are sadistic for that would mean longer intermission before the next client appears or in his case, before his next torturer appears.

_Che, the more wounds, the longer vacation I get to have._

_

* * *

_"Sensei, yamero, please stop it."

"Nowaki, it's been so long since the last time I saw you. How are you doing?"

Nowaki sighed as he slowly removed his sempai's hands from his waist. "I'm okay..."

"Hey Nowaki, look at me when I'm talking to you."

Nowaki was speechless for a while, shocked at the seriousness of the tone from his sempai.

"Gomen, I'm sorry for my callousness, is there anything I can do to make up for my behavior just now?" _Please just say nothing...I am so eager to just go home now and take a rest._

"Hmm...since we are not that busy for the next few weeks, why don't you join me for a nice, hot vacation?"

Nowaki shivered from the last two words. Needless to say, Nowaki had no choice but to comply, but without thinking first that he could just boycott his sempai when that day comes. After all, he could always pretend that he has a lot of patients to attend to. Not to mention that the kids are always looking for him even though they are in good physical health.

Satisfied with the thought, Nowaki muttered some random excuse and without waiting for any sort of reply, he was immediately out of the hospital, leaving a very frustrated Tsumori behind.

_Kusama Nowaki, one day you'll be mine soon._

_

* * *

_The moment he opened the door to his house, Nowaki immediately went straight to the bedroom, removed his jacket and flopped himself on the bed. He usually was not this lethargic when it comes to work…..especially when it comes to work, since it is the one thing that made him feel that he is getting closer to him.

_Him….._

It was only then that he realized that everything in his life is always about him…..Not only does his heart feel empty but it's as if his life has been taken away from him. A life with no purpose…no value…

_What about your patients? The kids?_

He momentarily smiled at the thought. He is forever grateful for those kids since they are the ones that constantly tell him not to give up, even though they themselves are not aware of it.

Although the fact remains that…

…..they alone cannot fill the void that was left by his Hiro-san.

* * *

The moment Nowaki unlocked the door to his apartment, he immediately removed his coat, dropped his bag and flopped himself on the bed.

_What a long day…_

And just like many nights before...

He shifted to face the left side of the bed, whispered three words and pretended that his love is still there.

He may have given up searching for Hiroki but that doesn't mean that he had stopped hoping to find him out there...

_...Somewhere_

The following day...

Nowaki almost choked up on his coffee as he read the mail sent to him by his professor from America.

It says...

_You are cordially invited to a three-day conference that will be held in Australia on November 2. Please confirm your attendance on or before the twenty-second of October._

_P.S. Please be reminded to keep the receipt for your plane ticket so that a reimbursement can be made._

_It's already the twenty-third! But I can still make it if I just send the professor an e-mail since it may still be the twenty-second in America._

He proceeded to work on his PC and just as he was about to close it, a thought popped into his head and made him smile. _With this, I have a very good excuse to escape Tsumori-sempai's advances._

_

* * *

_At the Miyagi household...

"Hey old man, I'm going back to Australia next week!"

Miyagi simply nodded, making Shinobu more pissed...

"DID YOU HEAR ME?"

"Hnnn..."

"MIYAGGGGGGGI...WILL YOU STOP WORKING FOR ONCE AND TALK TO ME?"

"I'm sorry Shinobu-chin, but I have to finish checking these papers by the end of the week."

"BUT THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID THE WEEK BEFORE AND THE WEEK BEFORE THAT!"

Miyagi sighed.

"MIYAGI, WWWAITTT, I DDDIDN'T...AAAAAAAHHHH..."

"You are awefully noisy today, do you know that."

"STOP, wwwwhat are you doing, you pervert!"

"Hmmmmm...so you are going to Australia? Do you seriously have to go that far just to make me jealous?"

"I...I'm ssserious...hmmmm..."

"Until when are you staying there?"

"I dunnoooo...Miyagiiiiiiiiiii..."

"You know how much I hate that place, especially when it comes to letting lose a brat like you."

"STOOOOOOP, so you don't trust me on my own?"

"I won't let you go...not until I'm sure you are well-taken care of."

"IF YOU ARE THAT CONCERN, WHY NOT JUST GO WITH ME?"

"You know I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"I have papers to check and besides where would I get a plane ticket."

"I already bought for both of us!"

"Are you serious?"

...

"Shinobu, you know I can't go..."

"Why not?"

"For the nth time, I have tons of work to do."

"If it's work, I can call my father."

"It's not that simple."

"Why are you so reluctant to go with me? Could it be that you and that Nowaki guy are having fun with each other?"

'You know that's not true. Nowaki is just a friend and nothing more. He is someone that is still hurting over the lose of his lover."

"GGETTT OFF ME!"

"Shinobu, again for the nth time, you are the only person I will love forever."

"And for the nth time, you are going with me!Gasp!, stop molesting me when I'm talking with you."

"Hmm...wwhat did you say?"

"Listen to me, old man, we are leaving next week!"

"No, you are leaving next week."

"Wwwhatt? What about the ticket? Fine, I'm just going to ask one of my friends to go with me."

"You sneaky brat but... not that sneaky."

"What do you mean by that?"

"The ticket's name after me and you can't just ask someone to go with you without my authorization."

"I hate you...aaahhhh, not there...Miyagggggiiiiiii."

Miyagi, being a typical seme that he is, understood the meaning behind those words and so his retort was, "And I love you too...Shinobu."

* * *

At the hospital...

"Hmmph, do you really hate spending time with me?" Tsumori sneered as he read through the letter.

"You know that's not true sempai, as a doctor, such conferences are important so that we will be updated with the latest trends in our field of work."

"Okay okay...there's nothing I could do anyway especially if it's your professor who invited you. It's only for three days right? Make sure you come back as soon as you are finished or else I will suspect you of negligence."

"I understand."

* * *

At the Family Restaurant

"Really? So you are going to Australia next week?"

"Yes, for a three day conference and then I have to be back for work."

"Ehhh, Shinobu is going there as well, AH, I KNOW!"

"Nowaki, can you do me a favor?"

"Uhm what is it?"

"Oh you see, I don't trust Shinobu to go there on his own and I was wondering if you could please guard him while you are there?"

"Uhm, I'm not sure professor, for all I know, I will be very busy. And I am still on wait list since the flight is full."

"REALLY? OH THANK GOD! If that's the case, then I have good news for you."

"You can take my ticket."

"Miyagi, are you sure, what if Shinobu finds out?"

"Just do it, I will take care of that brat with a few hugs and kisses."

Nowaki smiled knowingly.

At the airport...the following week

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT I AM WITH YOU INSTEAD OF HIM!"

"Shinobu-san, please calm down, people are already staring at us."

"I DON'T CARE, I PLANNED FOR THIS TRIP FOR A LONG LONG TIME ONLY TO BE...MMMMPHHH"

"Gomen-nasai, Shinobu-san, but you have to keep quiet or else I won't let you go."

"Mmmmmppphhh"

Rrrring...rrrinngggg...

"Hello"

"Are you okay there with Shinobu?"

"Yes, he is here with me but he is definitely not okay with the situation."

"I'm sorry Nowaki, can you please put him on the line."

"DAMN YOU OLD MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TRICKED ME!"

"Shinobu, I already told you, I'm not coming."

"I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT!"

"Shinobu, please..."

"I AM NOT GOING WITHOUT YOU...FINE, IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANT IT, THEN I WILL DEFINITELY NOT GO BACK, GOODBYE!" He then hurled the phone back at its owner and proceeded to the check-in counter, leaving Nowaki to run after him.

* * *

In Australia...

"Enjoy your stay."

Nowaki politely returned the smile as he was granted entry to the country while at the same time, making sure that the kid is still with him.

"So, big man, where are you staying?"

Nowaki was surprised as this was the first time since the entire trip that the Shinobu spoke to him. "I'm not sure I still have to look for the place where the conference is near."

"What? You mean you still haven't booked for a hotel?"

Nowaki slightly blushed. "I forgot."

"FINE! You can stay at my place then."

"Rreally?"

"Don't make me repeat myself. I can't believe you are like Miyagi. That old man always forgets everything...our first date, first kiss, first...HHHHEEEY PUT ME DOWN!"

"THANK YOU, SHINOBU!"

"Okay okay, just put me down and don't drop me!"

Nowaki's conversation with Miyagi later that night

"Miyagi, don't worry, I'm sure Shinobu's not seeing someone while here in Australia."

"What? You want me to call you every time he leaves the house?"

"Professor, don't you think he'll suspect me?"

"Okay then, Bye."

_If he is that worried, he should have gone here with his lover then. _Nowaki smiled mischievously as he recalled how he used to be like that when he was with his Hiro-san. _Immature, selfish and childish.._If fate would grant him one last chance, he would never ever leave his lover's side.

* * *

That night...

Needless to say, Nowaki felt drained and exhausted after the first day of the conference. _Good thing, I'll only be here for three days and then I'm going back to Japan._

Just like many nights before, when his rational mind is already put to rest and his unconsciousness is already seeping in, he can't help but think about him. _I wish you are right here beside me...still.._

...that was until he was interrupted by an excessively repetitive doorbell sound.

_Who could that be?_

Annoyed, Nowaki struggled to get out of bed just to open the door, only to come face to face with a very disheveled teenage boy.

If it weren't for his rock-solid patience, Nowaki swore he would have shouted at the boy.

"Shinobu, please, don't just go out drinking with some random people you just met."

"Hey, you listen here, I am old enough to know what I am doing and besides, who gave you the right to lecture me about what I should and should not do?"

"Shinobu, if you don't stop this, you might get hurt or kidnapped and...Miyagi will be worried."

"SHUT UP SHUT UP! I AM HERE TO ENJOY LIFE! AND TELL HIM THAT I WON'T COME BACK TO JAPAN EVER!"

Nowaki honestly couldn't comprehend why a soft spoken person like Miyagi could be lovers with a loud, noisy brat. "Truth to be told, Miyagi loves you and that's why he asked me to watch you."

"HE WHAT? WHAT DOES HE THINK OF ME? SOME KIND OF DAMSEL IN DISTRESS."

"Maybe yes or maybe not but the fact remains that he loves you very much and you may not have noticed it but he's jealous of other people getting close to you." _Why is this is so complicated? It's like teaching calculus to a pre-school kid. I can't believe that this is the same person that Miyagi is so proud of. Every time we meet, he never fails to talk about his admiration for this kid's intelligence and skill._

"Really? He is jealous," Shinobu muttered gleefully and Nowaki couldn't help but notice the sudden change in the young man's mood.

"He is jealous, he is jealous, HE IS JEALOUS AFTER ALL!Nowaki, is it true that Miyagi is jealous?"

"Yes, yes, very very much." _Wow, what a sudden transformation! I don't remember Miyagi telling me that this kid has some kind of mood disorder. I can't wait for these three days to be over._

_

* * *

_"KAZUO! STOP SCREWING AROUND and prep "him" up for the next client."

"Okay okay I got it, for once in your life Nobu, don't you have anything better to do than lecture me as to what I am suppose to do?"

"Whatever, just make sure that HE is the best among the goods that will be presented in the upcoming 'fashion show'. We don't want to lose face after getting this far in the business."

"AAAARRRR...STOP LECTURING ME WILL YOU?"

"I will only stop if you are able to prove to me that you can handle the situation without screwing up. If my memory serves me right, we were almost caught in our last gig and if it weren't for the red boss, we are now nothing but filthy rats rotting in prison."

Kazuo didn't argue further.

"Just remember, the plan is that the best and the most expensive good is shown at the very last of the 'contestants'. Remember, we are now officially managing twenty goods for the event and all of them has to be at their topnotch shape if we want to sell them to wealthy old geezers."

* * *

"HEY Hazel Rose, hurry up, you've been there for an hour already. Geeez, how long does it take for you to take a bath. Hurry up and remember to put on the perfume I prepared for you."

Kamijou heard his nickname. When he was brought here in Australia, his name was immediately changed to a name of a flower to make him seem more exotic to his clients so they say. Though he really thinks it is to avoid using his real name. In fact, he couldn't recall how long it was since someone called him something resembling to his given name.

"GOOD HEAVENS, are you even listening to me when I'm talking."

Kamijou heard more banging sounds and decided that it would be best if he responded and be a "good boy." "Okay, I'm almost done."

Just when he was about to leave the shower area, he felt his legs gave away and before he could utter a yelp, his upper body followed suit, resulting in him lying on the ground out of breath and slowly losing consciousness.

_What is wrong with me?_

Kazuo was getting impatient and decided to unlock the door only to find out that their "best good" was on the ground out cold. _Shit shit shit._

"NOBU NOBU! COME HERE THIS INSTANCE!"

Hearing his partner's frantic screaming, he concluded that they had stumbled into a nasty situation. When he arrived at the scene, he felt his adrenaline increased tenfold. _What are we going to do, just when we are about to earn millions from tonight's event, we lost our trump card._

Without consulting his partner, Nobu immediately dialed the red boss' number and told their employer about the situation.

"Did you heed my warning when I said not to use him too much, especially for tonight?"

Nobu didn't say anything. Too scared as to what the boss will do to them. Chances are they are going to lose millions tonight if Hazel Rose doesn't wake up or is not in top shape to please the richest client who bid for him several weeks ago.

"Nobu, I understand what you are feeling right now and I am quite disappointed with how things turned out."

...

"Reserve the hotel room you are currently staying in for the entire night and I will figure out a way to fix the mess that you and your partner created. And this time, do not disobey me for not only will your salaries be compromised, but I will also personally report you to the authorities and have you torture to death."

With that, the line was cut off.

* * *

It was just the final night of the conference and Nowaki can't help but grinned at the thought of going home the following day. Seriously speaking, he would rather spend the entire day chasing around kids at the hospital rather than stick around people who right after the conference, boast so much about their so-called knowledge. For him, they are full of talk, full of theories but are too afraid to do action. Not to mention, when he goes home during the night, he has to watch out for Shinobu who hates his lover at one time and the next second, you see him beside the phone crying and muttering curses at his lover in Japan.

When the boy hung up, he went to Nowaki and exclaimed to him determinedly that he would come with him to return to Japan tomorrow.

Without further ado, Nowaki booked Shinobu's ticket out of fear that he might change his mind the next minute. He then said good night to the kid and went to his room to prepare for his flight the next morning.

Upon entering his room, his cellphone beeped indicating that an e-mail had just arrived.

It was from one of the doctors that his professor introduced him to during the conference.

Ishikawa: _Nowaki, I'm sorry for disturbing you this late in the evening. An important client called me up saying that he wanted me to visit the Cherry Hotel to check up on a patient. Unfortunately, I already promised to meet up with someone tonight, can you please go instead of me? I will follow suit right after my meeting. The location is just four blocks from the venue of our conference_

Nowaki: _Dr. Ishikawa, I will be glad to. However, may I just asked how old is the patient. I am a pediatrician you see and I'm not sure if my knowledge and experience is applicable to adults._

Ishikawa: _Thank you, Kusama-san. Yes, I am aware of that fact but don't worry, you simply have to do an overall check up and if things aren't looking well, inform the client about it immediately. Don't sweat it, I'll catch up with you. I'll give you his number and by the way, this client is very secretive of his identity and dealings. I've been his doctor for quite some time and he really does pay well, just don't make the mistake of speaking to anybody about his identity._

Nowaki: _I understand._

Just right after his e-mail conversation with Dr. Ishikawa ended, a phone call arrived.

He picked it up.

"I believe Ishikawa called you. No need to look for the place, a car has been prepared for you. Please be ready in five minutes at most. I am not a very patient person."

Then the line was cut off.

Needless to say, Nowaki was speechless but nevertheless, he was ready in less than two minutes and was already waiting for the said car.

_I have a feeling that I've stumbled into someone who is not your everyday typical guy._

_

* * *

_The ride to the hotel was marked by silence. No one spoke a word except for the occasional nodding of heads and checking and pulling of triggers from time to time.

Nowaki was not really scared, just plain shocked. _It really is true when they said that doctors will encounter people from different walks of life. Whether evil or good, it is within our jurisdiction to decide rather it is our duty to heal and save lives. But being a doctor of children, I never expected that I will encounter a patient who like belongs to some sort of mafia or underground society anytime soon._

Upon their arrival, Nowaki had no time to appreciate the fine architecture and interior of the place. He was practically dragged towards the elevator, not physically but mentally, he cannot help but comply when a bunch of able bodied man signaled for him to follow them. _They seem to be really in a hurry._

When the machine reached the 81st floor, he was led to a double mahogany door. He shook hands with two terrified men. One who is somehow close to going crazy and so he chose to speak to the seemingly more sane one.

"My name is Kusama Nowaki and I am here in place of Dr. Ishikawa."

"Yes, yes, my name is Nobu and this is Kazuo, please come with me now."

As they were walking or so to speak, running along a narrow hallway, Nowaki decided that it was the best time to ask regarding the patient. "Mr. Nobu, can you please tell me why or what happen before the patient fainted?"

Nobu blurted out everything he knew and Nowaki can't help but have a mental gasp. _So that's why, they are apparently a part of a mafia catering to prostitution. _"And this patient was somehow abused by his client just today?"

"Well, there are more abusive clients before, but he never did faint. It was only this time..ohh, we are here, please come in."

Again, Nowaki had no time to appreciate the aesthetic quality of the bedroom as he saw an unconscious, trembling figure on the bed. _What a mess they must had made out of this one. _

He went beside the bed and made a move to remove the thick blanket around the person's body and made him lie on his back.

He stared.

Just stared..

And stared there for what seem like forever...

His mind and body went overdrive as a sudden revelation came crushing into me like wave after wave. After all these years, those sleepless nights, those heartbreaking journey to a police station only to come back empty handed-all those memories trying to make its way inside his head giving him a massive headache.

He honestly didn't know how he should feel at that time.

"Doctor, is he going to be okay?"

Nor does he know how he should respond to the person beside him.

He struggled to reply in a professional manner. "I'm not sure, I have to check up on him, but with this amount of damage inflicted upon his body, I don't think he will be of service to you guys anytime soon."

The last half of the statement was said in a very murderous tone that Nobu cannot help but shiver at the coldest gaze that was ever directed to him.

He just hopes it's all part of his imagination.

* * *

A/N: Comments, suggestions, or other feedback? I would embrace all of them although I might not necessarily reply immediately. Please take into consideration that not all suggestions will be incorporated but rest assured that I will read them all.

Homophobic reviews are like a virus so I delete them without even looking/reading at them.


	6. Chapter 6: To Not Let Go

Chapter 6: To Not Let Go

Hiroki could feel himself gently being stirred into consciousness. Despite his befuddled mind, he was able to make out that he is in a different room from the last one that he resided. _Perhaps a client did take me home yesterday? But why didn't I feel anything? Perhaps it is one of those drugs again._

For the first time in a long time, he realized that his body doesn't hurt as much although it still feels sore and raw which is not unusual. But for some reason, he felt better and safer to where he is now. _Might as well enjoy this moment while it lasted. _Despite hearing noises in the background, he still refuses to open his eyes for fear of waking up to his nightmarish of a life. Most of the time, he just lays there and just surrenders his body and mind to whoever is currently handling him. It is better than struggling at least you get to be left alone and not punished from misbehaving.

He could hear voices in the background but none of them registered in his mind until he heard the one name that sends his mind, body and soul into overdrive.

"Nowaki, oyy are you sure that's him? He couldn't be him since the Hiroki I know does not dress like that. AND where did you found him AGAIN?"

"Shinobu, I am positive that that's Hiro-san and I can't believe so myself until I checked his entire body."

"Eww please no need to go into the 'how I am so in love with Hiro-san that I memorize every part of him'"

The taller of the two couldn't agree more. "Shinobu, look I don't know how he got to that place but judging by the condition of his body, this has been going on for quite some time."

"Look, I know we are treading on dangerous grounds and it seems like whoever kidnapped your Hiro-san, is someone who is not so keen on letting him go. It's a miracle that you even found him alive in the first place more so, leaving with him unscathed."

"That's actually the reason why we have to go back to Japan as soon as possible."

* * *

Meanwhile...

Two consecutive gunshots reverberated across some dark, solitary district and two thudding sounds followed, signifying the fall of some scum who wants to make it big in the world of mafia.

But what Nobu and Kazuo failed to realize when they joined the black market is that their lives are no longer theirs. A mistake is like a debt that has to be paid and the red boss made sure of that when these two fools lost his priceless good yesterday.

_Two lives are not enough but it is enough to instill fear and obedience onto others._

* * *

Back in Japan...

Needless to say, Nowaki was more than just delighted in having his Hiro-san back. During the entire trip back home, he gently tried to talk to him but all he got was a blank stare and then his Hiro-san would avoid him altogether. He could tell that the man needs more alone time for himself and so he gave him just that. In all honesty, he expected their reunion to be more interactive.

After several weeks of perpetual silence, Nowaki can't stand not knowing what happened to his Hiro-san the past years. With the help of Miyagi's little brat, they were able to extract information from the Australian government about an underground society that kidnaps and sells beautiful creatures to upper class denizens. Nowaki at first, tries to deny with his very being that his Hiroki became part of this entire ordeal. He himself had a minor breakdown and didn't go home to his beloved for a couple of days. Too afraid to face his beloved with pity, disgust and loathing painted all over his face. Hiroki might not show it but he is very sensitive with how people react towards him, especially with Nowaki. But after some coaxing from Miyagi and reprimanding from Shinobu, he finally decided to go home and broach the unwanted subject. He figured that waiting for Hiroki will not change anything, instead he should be the one to take the initiative. His Hiro-san is too broken to even try anything on his own.

"Hiro-san, look I bought your favorite book."

No response.

The blue-eyed man decided that he won't get any response by simply showering the older man with gifts. He decided to try another tactic and slowly approached his beloved. Ever since he found his Hiro-san, they never had any real physical contact like they used to. They do not even sleep on the same bed, let alone be around each other for more than necessary. He simply took care of his beloved's needs like preparing his meals, tucking him onto bed, helping him get into the shower and make sure that he doesn't drown himself in the bathtub.

All these actions were initiated by him and so, when the older man suddenly wrapped his arms around him, he was caught off guard. To his surprise, his Hiro-san started crying, clinging to him and whispering words that even with their close proximity, cannot comprehend what the other is saying.

By natural instinct, Nowaki reciprocated and wrapped his arms around the brunette's waist line, in which to his horror, have become horribly thin. _When was the last time I held him like this?_

As he gently stroke his beloved's hair, he finally made out what was being whispered by the other man. He may not have heard everything that was being said but he did understood one thing. _Please don't leave me._

The final sentence was like a mantra that he kept on hearing or maybe, it was his own mind, trying its best to process the words. It finally dawned on him that after all these time, maybe just maybe, his lover won't open up to him for fear of being rejected, abandoned or hated. His actions for the past weeks were more like an act of reservation towards Nowaki. For some reason, his Hiro-san may have dreaded that Nowaki knew what happened to him and decided to leave him for good. That Nowaki doesn't want him anymore if he found out that he has been passed on, used and recycled by different men.

All these epiphanies came crashing down on him and he felt like being submerged into cold water until he finally snapped awake to the truth. He placed his two hands below the chin of the brunette in front of him and kissed the living daylights out of him.

He then proceeded to whisper sweet nothings and undying promises as he paused between kisses. "Hiro-san, please listen to me, if you are afraid that I will leave you then please remember this, that I will die first before you if that were to happen. I was the first one who fell in love with you and since then, my entire being revolves around you. You have no idea how much your returning to me has brought back life to my almost dead existence." He then guided the left palm of his beloved towards his chest where his heart is currently beating fast. "There was a void here when you left, that no one and absolutely no one was able to fulfill. Everyday I pray hard for your return. Despite the claims that you were already dead, my heart refuse to believe them."

As he confesses his heart out, he could see the slight change to the man in front of him. His face seems to brighten even just slightly and he doesn't look so broken. It was then that Nowaki realized that in as much as he needs his lover, that's equivalent to how much his lover depends on him.

The night ended with both of them finally sleeping on the same bed like they used to before. Nowaki makes sure that he showers the older man with affections every time they're together. He made a promise to himself that he will do this as long as he lives and will not give up in his goal to make his Hiro-san smile again. There are times when he reminisces and daydreams the Hiro-san before and the Hiro-san now. He won't deny the fact that he misses the sarcastic banners and the "tsundereness" of his uke. But now is not the time to compare the present from the past because in doing so, would only result in doing more damage than good. And at this stage in their relationship, such thoughts cannot be made known to the broken man beside him. Rather, he should be more than happy that he got him back and that he is slowly improving. _One step at a time, one day at a time. _

There were nights when his Hiroki would wake up in the middle of the night, screaming and crying to whatever nightmare he just witnessed. When Nowaki first encountered such outbursts, he did what any rational partner would do, he hugged his lover and wouldn't let him go. He soon realized the hard way that such a loving gesture, would only increase the screaming and crying, for he found out that such gesture only reminded his lover of the times when he felt helpless, abused and used by those scum bags. That was when he realized that more than just love, his beloved needs understanding. _Someone who will stick with him throughout all of this. _Now is not the time to make issues of his own, now is the time to prove to himself worthy of being this wonderful man's lifetime partner through thick and thin, good and bad and above all, life and death.

It was also during those nights that his lover would be extremely desperate for physical contact. Even if the sex is requested, he had to be extra careful in the very act itself, worried that he might awaken unwanted memories, for the last thing he wants to happen is to be compared to the thugs that broke his Hiro-san.

He doesn't tell his beloved that he knew what happened to him for no one deserves to be reminded of their misfortunes especially someone who is barely coping up. But given the way his lover is acting towards him already says everything.

Honestly speaking, Nowaki is also scarred over what happened, but he prays and hopes everyday that their love is enough to heal both of them from this tragedy, especially over something in which none of the concerned parties is at fault. He earnestly believes that they will get their happy ending as long as they work on it and never let each other go.

END.

* * *

A/N: Any comments, suggestions, violent reactions? I would like to ask if you think I should add/insert a Hiroki POV to the ending chapter, instead of just focusing on Nowaki's perspective?

Feel free to review and message me but I am not going to assure you that I will be able to incorporate all of the suggestions. Oh by the way, if there is something wrong with my grammar or sentence structure, feel free to correct me, but don't reprimand.

Again, strictly NO homophobic reviews.


End file.
